Mama is Not a Cushion

My people have sat me down and talked to me about the "disrespectful" language that I use to describe them in my writings. For some reason She has a problem with being referred to as a cushion. (I think she's sensitive about the width of her lap) Anyway, from now on I have promised to call them mama and papa. At least I will try.

Now back to the story I was telling you - papa has fixed the computer for me now. I told him he better, or I'd go get a macbook.

OK, where was I? I think the retriever monster had just left.

So we had a long sleep, and then the cold white stuff came down from the sky. Mama got pretty excited (even more than usual). She had been ripping paper off the stuff under the tree, and then she was reading the book gift while papa played the noisy shoot-em-up game on the TV and then the white stuff came down outside and mama tried to drag me out their to play in it. No thank you!

We got all dressed up after that. I wore my little blue Tshirt and a jacket, and we road tripped to granma's house. She left lots of yummy bits on the floor for us to eat, but she wouldn't let us sit at the table till most of the food was gone. It was good stuff. Japanese food (I'm not fussy about where my food comes from) After the eating we were allowed to sit on the couch for the first time ever, because granma gave us blankies of our own to protect her old couch from us. She gave us toys too. I ripped a hole in mine and pulled out its insides.

We drove home in the dark, but we had to go back for some reason. I think mama left her brain back at granma's house.

Anyway, we had a good time. I think this is a good time of year. Papa likes to watch TV and play shoot-em-up inside, and mama turns into a great cushion this time of year (she gets bigger and softer). She only makes us run in the park a short time, and if it's wet or white she doesn't even try to make us go out. We'll all be paying for it next spring though - maybe I should tell you more about our amazing weight loss success story sometime soon. I'll get some pictures together for you - I'm half the dog I used to be.

Gotta get up now. Maybe play some small-mouthed-dog tennis ball catch.
Later people.

Time Flies

I apologize, loyal readers... This month really got away from me.
I have so many things to tell you, I don't know where to start. Is the beginning OK with you?

The month started with my cushion talking to herself a lot. She said things like "13 original states and 13 stripes" and "50 stars, 50 states, each has 2 senators, but how long do they serve for?" Then one day the tall one stayed home on a weekday, and they left me alone all day, but she seemed to be quite happy and relaxed when she got home. Then about a week later they did it again, and when she got home I heard her say something about being a "mericanow".

Right after that she got into a big old frenzy, rushing around, taking boxes out of the house and coming back with things in bags. She sent a whole bunch of stuff someplace. And then some good smelling stuff showed up in our house. She made a plastic tree and put the good stuff under there, right at nose level, but then she yelled when we tried to find out what it was.

The peak of frenzy came a few days ago. Both of my people raced around the house making all the stuff disappear, and changing all the smells with their sprays and liquids. They brought out the loud vacuum monster and tried to suck me up into it (don't worry, I kicked it's butt). My cushion wouldn't sit down - she made some brownie cakes for dogs and some scone cakes for people and some fluffy cream to go with Kara's homemade blackberry jam (she's a book lady too).

Then my aunt and uncle came over with their big monster they call "Buster". He whacked his giant tail around every which way and tried to jump on Bubbles, and he got some of my brownies. I couldn't believe how he could reach his monster nose right up to the food on the table. I wish I could do that. After it was dark the people played something they called "Guitar Hero" and it sounded like fun. There was clapping and laughing and singing, and everyone got tired. Oh, and most important - aunty gave me 3 small-mouthed-dog-accessible tennis balls, and a fuzzy goldfish to play with, but I had to wait until the monster was gone, because he's a thief.

I'm going to have to keep you in suspense for the rest of my story. The tall one did something bad to this computer, and every 20 seconds an angry message comes up and messes with my typing. It's hard enough for me to blog as it is. But this is just ridiculous! I can't take it anymore.

I'll write again soon, I promise. Y'all come back now, y'hear?!

setting the record straight

this is not the fat ugly white dog. this is the boss. they call me bubbles because they're stupid and don't know how to pronounce my true name. im not very good at typing but i wont apologize. im 75 in people age. it's a wonder i can see the damn screen.

anyway, i just wanted to clarify something the young upstart said. she accused me of latching on to her fat flabby cheek and biting till the blood did flow, and not letting go even when we were pulled up into the air. ok. that's true. but she started it. she always starts it. i try to talk to her for a minute, pull her out of that stupor she spends her days in, and she jumps on me. she always jumps on me, but i always kick her butt. i make her pay for her insolence.

she thinks shes so smart. "im on the internet! i have a blog!" she even tries to pee over my marks. but she doesn't know her back end from her front, so she always misses by about 2 feet. stupid. she barely even knows how to lift her leg like a real dog should. can't lift it at all when she poops (although thats really my special talent - cant expect just any old dog to do that)

if she keeps on messing with me and slandering me on this blog im going to post some very embarrassing videos of her on this youtube thing. i have seen her try to play with a vacuum cleaner, i have seen her chewing on rocks, and i have seen her suck beer out of a bottle. i could get her in a lot of trouble...

YouTube From Under the Rug

It's cold on the sofa without my cushion and the ornery old pug keeps attacking me. That bitch! I can say that because we are both are, you know, female dogs. Don't call the profanity police on me. Don't make me wear the scarlet letter P. They did that on Colonial House. I was listening from under the blanket the last 2 days when my cushion had her Colonial House marathon. Sounded like I would've hated olden times. No cushions, no sofas, and I bet they wouldn't have made me a nice flannel quilt to sleep under like my cushion did.

This picture shows me and the old one under our "rug" today. It used to be all mine, but now if I don't share I get my butt kicked. She doesn't look so mean, and they call her that cute name "Bubbles", but the other day she bit my cheek and wouldn't let go, even after the tall one picked me up to break up the fight. And she attacked me again while my cushion nursemaid was cleaning the blood off my fur. Like I said before...

So I heard that YouTube is really cool. The tall one comes home all the time with stuff he was told about at "work". I don't know. I went on there and I found a skateboarding bulldog that got on Oprah and a pug that says "I love you" to Montel (big deal, I bet he doesn't write a blog; got nothing to say but "I love you"). I guess anyone can put their videos on there for all the world to see. I did quite like that catchy little song with the treadmill dance. But really, don't people have better, more important things to do? I seem to recall that in several dystopic novels the misuse of mindless media was how freedoms were lost.

You know what? I shouldn't pretend to be something I'm not. I'm just a simple pug with a few basic needs, many desires, and a little bit of an interest in politics. I'm not technology minded. I just want to become an enlightened being and do good in the world, without leaving the comfort and security of a warm soft lap.



If you want to check out my recent favs, including a couple of YouTube videos, you can go to my delicious page anytime (I can't be bothered learning about embedding videos right now! I need some sleep)

My LibraryThing

Hey folks!
I played around with LibraryThing, and I set myself up a catalog. If you want to check out what this pug is reading right now go to http://www.librarything.com/catalog/theycallmemimithepug

That's all for now. I need to get back to sleep.

LibraryThing is not for pugs

I heard my cushion telling the tall one about LibraryThing the other day. Seems she quite likes it, even though she has a fairly small library of books at home, and she keeps giving them away to people. Not to mention, she doesn't always like people to see what she's reading. But anyway, I guess she's taken by how easy the site is to use and how cool it is to see all your little bookies lined up on the computer. I heard her say "I wish kitcat's search worked as well as amazon" but I don't really know what that means.

I like books for a different reason than people do. The only thing I like about books is the way they smell and taste. The ones my cushion brings home that have a zillion people hand smells on the edges... I have to be careful not to get a paper cut on my tongue, but I love to lick those books. Don't get grossed out - I use my driest lick, just to get the taste. The papery edges where the fingers rest and the pages get turned... mmm... books... It's just not the same on a computer, even if you can customize the display to show the exact edition of the book you own (heaven forbid the cover isn't right! spoiled people). Computers don't taste good.

But my big problem with LibraryThing is privacy. I have books I might like to share with my people, and other's I'd rather they didn't see. The bestsellers (mmm... lots of fingersmells) and the romances (mmm... bonbons and lady finger smells) I will share. I'll tag those wishlist and have my people bring them home for me. But the private books - the radical militant pug revolutionary heroes, the books on strategy - I just don't want them to know about. I don't know how they might use that information against me.

So LibraryThing People, if you're out there, make it so we can share some books and keep others private . Go look at Flickr with their friends and family designations. They help me protect my good name. And I do have a good name. They call me Mimi. Yes, like that woman from the Drew Carey show with the eye makeup. I used to have a weight problem...

Managing my people through RSS

OK, here it is. I finally worked out a way to minimize the time my cushion spends on the computer. They call it RSS and it organizes all the new stuff people have written on her favorite websites into one handy little page (I set her up with google reader) so she doesn't waste so much time going to the blogs by the little-poodle person and the corgi person and the book-work person. The reader shows her all the new stuff they've written all at once and then she can turn off that computer and get back on the couch. Brilliant! Of course it would be better if she just didn't worry about what those other people had to say. Am I not interesting enough for her?

My cushion also has one of the iPug thingies - a little silver one. She's terribly cheap so she won't pay for content. She borrows CDs from the library and puts them on her iPug, and she copies her own boring old CDs onto it too. But truth is, she mostly listen to pugcasts. They get delivered automatically whenever she plugs the thing in, and she gets hours of free talky stuff to listen to. She likes to walk and listen for some reason - she seems to think with her legs. But I'm trying to convince her to sit down on the couch and listen. She's going to sign me up for some pugcasts of my own soon. Maybe something about Eastern philosophy... the militant pug network... or maybe food...mmm...food...

delicious!

I've been working on the computer all weekend, except when I was sleeping. The tall one even let me borrow his "lap-top" for a few minutes, although he was terribly busy with his own work. So I went to all my favorite sites and my new favorite - del.icio.us... Well it's kind of fun, but mostly I just like the name. It makes me hungry. I tagged some sites that I like. But honestly I don't get out of the house much, so I think I'll just stick with using favorites on my regular computer. I guess there's the network thing, but honestly, I'm a very private pug...

I'll play with it. Play is fun. I'll figure it all out and get back to you when I see the point of this diversion in my very busy life. http://del.icio.us/theycallmemimi

For those of you who are not interested in this training stuff my cushion keeps blabbing about, the big news is I had a bath! Stinky McStink kept chewing on her back end and making it bleed a little bit, so our people figured she must be dirty and scratchy. So we both got dunked. I tried to convince them I couldn't hear them calling "Mimi, bath". First I looked at my tail, then I sat on the dining room bed and looked at my tail, and when they still wouldn't stop I took off out the convenience door. The yard was freakin' freezing though, so I ended up back inside and in the bath. I shivered so hard afterwards the tall one felt guilty and had to keep me warm all afternoon (cushion went to touch books for 5 hours).

I hate the computer!

My cushion has been doing a project for her work that includes helping me out with this blog, but I have to say, I HATE it. She spends all her time with the computer and no time sitting under me anymore. She sits on the chair in the room I'm banned from and she types and clicks and goes into a virtual coma looking at that screen. She hardly moves. When she finally emerges she's freezing cold and grumpy and her body hurts so she won't sit down and fulfill her purpose in life (keeping me warm and comfy, you moron! that's what people are for!)

She got caught up on the flickr site today, even though she hasn't done the delicious thing yet(mmm... delicious... like coffee cheese and fat tire beer... mmm...). She already put pictures of us on flickr so the gramps could see what we're up to. But she, unlike me, is a private person, and she made sure everything was set to friends and family only. She didn't even think to search other people's pictures. I think she has too high of an opinion of her own photography skills.

She actually got pretty annoyed with that flickr last week when she was trying to use it. She kept screaming something about "not intuitive". She never screamed when she used the photosite or the snapfish thing. But she did end up having some fun with the flickr tag cloud thingy. She flickred away the morning, and got so excited to see pictures of countries she's been to, and places she wants to go. I heard her talking to herself about Varanasi, India! She can't leave me! She's my cushion! She needs to sit down on the sofa and shut up about travelling.

Lots of times I've heard her tell the tall one she wants an apple. Not the kind I like (mmm... apple...) but the kind that sits on your lap and lets you do your flickr and blog in the living room where I am. The tall one has one of those "lap-tops". It always gets in my way when I try to sit down. But at least he is on the sofa. I might have to help the cushion get herself a "lap-top" too. Just as long as she doesn't forget her "lap-dogs".

Pugoween Pictures

This is the one they call Bubbles, posing for a picture at Pugoween. My people called her "Count Pugula". They made the costumes for us. I got really sick of them waking us up and trying these stupid outfits on us. Although they were warm. And Pugula worked the crowd and got a lot of attention. I like to stay close to my people. They had cheesy snacks and a banana with them, and they know I want a belly-rub when I give them a kiss. Other people think I'm just being friendly. But that was the deal we made - a kiss for a rub. Unless the people have been eating cheese or drinking beer. Mmmm... cheese and beer breath....

These were some of the best costumes I saw. There was a princess, a witch, and look at Princess Leia! She was pretty cool for an old girl. And there were lobsters and a shark and 2 skunks and a cute Seahawks puppy. My people liked him a lot. They better not get one, or I'll have to take him out. I'm the baby. I don't want some stinkin puppy around here. Anyway, I had my cushion upload some pictures she liked - hopefully she didn't make a mess of it.

Hey, it's me. Like it says, they call me Mimi. I'm having a pretty good time here. I just wanted to get this "blog" thing started so I can get back to my nap, but my people really wanted me to have my picture on the web too.

So here it is. This is me yesterday. My people took us on a road trip then stuck me in this silly outfit and called me Superpug. We had a meeting in this big community center. There were about 50 of my kind there, and we called it "Pugoween" so our people wouldn't know what we were really up to.

I don't have much more to say right now. I'll get back to you with pictures of the one they call Bubbles later. She got to dress up as Count Pugula, and she got lots of leads on new families for us if we decide to jump ship. She's asleep right now, like I should be.

Later people.